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Bellelettres Profile
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Re: Musings


Will you tell us about the conversation with your dad, Robbie? I'm very curious about that.

I think to be dead is to be ended. Our immortality is our children, or what we've written that survives, or the various kinds of recording of our images and voices. Our immortality is also whatever others remember of us. Our physical selves are transformed into other matter. They are our last contribution to the earth.
6/3/2018, 7:08 am Link to this post PM Bellelettres
 
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I'm convinced that there's something after.... Maybe a different dimension.... There have just been way, way too many examples of visits and incidents.... I haven't a clue if it's due to an Architect or just simply nature....

Certainty really would help. I appreciate that sentiment.

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Lis

Just one voice.... Singing in the darkness....
6/3/2018, 1:46 pm Link to this post PM JustLis
 
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Re: Musings


Except for the Rumpus Room, every post on this board is a downer. Facebook is a downer. TV news is non-stop downers.

I really don't know how to get away from it.

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Robbie
6/10/2018, 1:51 pm Link to this post PM Miz Robbie
 
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Re: Musings


Are you interested in watching any sports?

The retro cable TV channel (TV Land?) has a lot of old comedies....

I'm enjoying "America's Got Talent" and "So You Think You Can Dance...."

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Lis

Just one voice.... Singing in the darkness....
6/10/2018, 4:03 pm Link to this post PM JustLis
 
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Re: Musings


I have only basic cable. I don't know what the retro cable TV channel is.

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Robbie
6/10/2018, 4:30 pm Link to this post PM Miz Robbie
 
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Re: Musings


Escaping All Trump All the Time puts one into Anthony Bourdain retrospectives. CNN, who hosted his "Parts Unknown" shows, has done an especially good job of showing us the man.

CNN, and every other outlet that has discussed his suicide, has tagged their shows with a suicide hotline number. A spokesperson has urged those contemplating suicide, as well as those with loved ones about whom they're worried, to call that number. I applaud these news outlets for trying to help, and trying to do the responsible thing.

Unfortunately, it will do nothing.

People who call suicide hotlines are in trouble, no doubt about it, and need help. The help they need, though, is a reason to keep plowing through it. ("Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough...") They're not really at the end, looking at the abyss, and finding the best place from which to jump. They're thinking about suicide, but they're not there, yet. They hope the person at the other end of the hotline can help them find a reason to keep going. I don't mean to minimize their pain. It's awful. But part of them hopes there is hope.

The person about to commit suicide is not going to call that hotline. Indeed, he or she is going to make preparations for suicide in a very secretive manner, making sure no one can interrupt and take away his or her control. He or she will not tell anyone what the plan is, what the preparations are, or how bad it has gotten. Telling a person at this point to call a hotline is futile. One might as well offer thoughts and prayers, for all the good it will do.

I wish I knew what we all should do, instead. I don't. I do know, all too well, what it's like to survive the suicide of a loved one. I do know, all too well, that professional help won't necessarily prevent the decision to kill oneself. I do know, all to well, what the love of family and friends, and the esteem of colleagues, won't prevent.

I wish I knew now, and had known then, what would keep it from happening. I haven't a clue.

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Robbie
6/11/2018, 1:36 am Link to this post PM Miz Robbie
 
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Re: Musings


My respite is in good books and well-written, well-acted videos, as well as in walking in this wonderful weather and writing. But I am in a fortunate position, no longer to have to get out in the world.

When I was younger, I was politically active. Now I don't have the stamina to participate in marches, and I can't hear what people are saying in meetings. What can anyone say in letters to the editor? I feel useless, but I don't have to add despair to that feeling by immersing myself in reminders. So I don't. I immerse myself in things that interest me.
6/11/2018, 9:02 am Link to this post PM Bellelettres
 
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I admit that I'm feeling kind of beat down by what I see. How anyone who can rub two neurons together can support what is happening to this country just cements my opinion that the United States is headed for destruction sometime in this century, and maybe not the latter part.
6/11/2018, 11:55 am Link to this post PM CooterBrown44
 
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Re: Musings


Maybe sometime in 2018.

---
Robbie
6/11/2018, 11:56 am Link to this post PM Miz Robbie
 
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Re: Musings


I understand your point about the suicide hotlines, Robbie. Truly, those who have already made the decision won't be reaching for the phone.

But for those who haven't gotten to that point yet, and for those who love them, it might make all the difference.

I'm glad they're putting the information out there, available for those who can use it. It cannot prevent every suicide. But it hurts no one, and if it helps even [sign in to see URL]'s worth it.

---
Lis

Just one voice.... Singing in the darkness....
6/11/2018, 3:16 pm Link to this post PM JustLis
 
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Absolutely, Lis, and I totally agree with everything you said. Indeed, I said something similar to it.

Most of my post, though, was about people who have made the decision and have a concrete plan. They aren't going to call the hotline.

---
Robbie
6/11/2018, 3:35 pm Link to this post PM Miz Robbie
 
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Re: Musings


You're right. They won't.

But maybe their loved ones will, if enough clues have been caught. Sometimes friends and loved ones can step into the breach, if they can see what is happening. Sometimes, those who have made the decision are expert in hiding those clues.

It's so hard....

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Lis

Just one voice.... Singing in the darkness....
6/11/2018, 3:40 pm Link to this post PM JustLis
 
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Re: Musings


quote:

JustLis wrote:

Sometimes, those who have made the decision are expert in hiding those clues.




Most times. Think of every suicide you know about. What did those closest to the deceased say? "He seemed fine!"

---
Robbie
6/11/2018, 5:12 pm Link to this post PM Miz Robbie
 
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Mmmmm.... I have only known a few people (other than celebrities) who have committed suicide. In only one case was I utterly shocked. But I didn't know the depths the others had reached.... I knew the depression was there, but just didn't realize.... But these kinds of situations remind me that I need to look harder....

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Lis

Just one voice.... Singing in the darkness....
6/11/2018, 6:08 pm Link to this post PM JustLis
 
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Re: Musings


quote:

JustLis wrote:

Mmmmm.... I have only known a few people (other than celebrities) who have committed suicide.



I was including celebrities in "know about." What did those closest to them say?


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Robbie
6/11/2018, 7:17 pm Link to this post PM Miz Robbie
 
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Re: Musings


Well.... I tend to discount what those "friends" of celebrities say, in large part because you can't know how truly close they are. I was shocked by Robin Williams' death, but then, I didn't REALLY know how he was doing anyway. And how would I? We weren't friends.

It seems to usually take some time for those who are truly closest to someone to start talking about how they knew s/he was in a dark place for some time, but didn't realize s/he was on the edge.... Those who were truly the closest to Anthony Bourdain or Kate Spade are probably not talking publicly yet. It's the voices of those who want to be heard gathering the available talking space. "I had no idea!!!"

But did they EVER really have any idea anyway?

---
Lis

Just one voice.... Singing in the darkness....
6/11/2018, 7:51 pm Link to this post PM JustLis
 
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Re: Musings


I'm sure that we all have to deal with some depression at least on and off. I'm depressed about the state of the country but I enjoy life too much to ever consider ending it. If I did, I'd move somewhere where it's legal and do it right with family with me.

I have some family issues also but we forge ahead the best we can. It's all that we can do.
6/11/2018, 11:53 pm Link to this post PM CooterBrown44
 
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Re: Musings


A couple of weeks ago I was in Office Max, which is located in a mall right across from JoAnn, a fabric and crafts shop selling, basically, cheap !@#$.

"I spend far too much on yarn," said my internal Frugal Robbie. "I should get some cheap !@#$ yarn at JoAnn to make hats for homeless people."

"But you love good yarn," countered my internal Always-Willing-to-Move-Up Robbie. "The hand-dyed stuff is utterly gorgeous, and good wool and alpaca is a delight to work with."

"Shut up," explained Frugal Robbie.

So both Robbies went into JoAnn and headed for the yarn section. It was really awful. Almost everything is acrylic, which can be sort of decent but theirs isn't. As I was walking out of that section of the store I saw a barrel with two yarns in it that looked like they might do. The brand name was Lion's Pride Woolspun. The listing of the exact ingredients was in lettering too small to be seen in that back corner of the store, but I took heart that it had at least some wool. I paid $[sign in to see URL] for each of the two balls of yarn. Good yarn usually costs $[sign in to see URL] to $[sign in to see URL] a pop, although there is usually more yarn in the ball of good yarn than in these.

When I got home and got my hand magnifying glass out, and moved to more light, I saw that it was made of 80% acrylic and 20% wool. I'm not sure what the lion found so worthy of pride.

I knitted up the black and white yarn. The stuff is stiff and feels awful in the hands while being knitted. I finished it last weekend.

A couple of days ago I started on the one called desert sun, a mixture of yellows, reds, and tans. It felt worse. Today I gritted my teeth and finished it just to get it out of my work space.

Then I turned to a yarn I had bought at my local yarn shop last weekend, when the shop featured a local woman who was there with her hand-dyed merino wool yarn. One grabbed my attention immediately. "Sunshine!" I exclaimed, looking at the blend of yellows. "That would make a great hat!" The woman smiled. Then I looked at the tag. She had called it Lemon Drops. However, good marketer that she was, she went with my label.

She nodded. "A bowl of sunshine on your head," she said.

Wow, what an image! Of course I bought it. And after I finished that crappy JoAnn hat this afternoon, I started in on the sunshine hat. It's my reward. It's going to be gorgeous!

---
Robbie
7/1/2018, 1:32 am Link to this post PM Miz Robbie
 
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Re: Musings


It sounds like it's going to be beautiful, Robbie!

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Lis

Just one voice.... Singing in the darkness....
7/1/2018, 10:15 am Link to this post PM JustLis
 
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Re: Musings


What a great and lasting pleasure it must be to be able to make something beautiful.
7/1/2018, 10:28 am Link to this post PM Bellelettres
 


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